When Happiness Comes In Disguise Of Fear and Self Doubt By Katherine Lightwood
When Happiness Comes In Disguise Of Fear and Self Doubt
By Katherine Lightwood
Well!! Now, you must be wondering if I got crazy. And no I am not. I hate competition and my definition of success is so different. But that's not the point. So, another colleague of mine won the competition and I was so so much happy that she did. For many days, she was facing some kind of problem with her life, not feeling worthy enough, her energy was getting really low. It was really heartbreaking to watch her like this. Although she spoke with me about some of her issues, even though all these it seemed like my insights were not enough to lift her spirits.
You know once my teacher said, courage is like a money bank if you don't fill it and keep withdrawing, one day it will finish. And that's the exact thing I was seeing what was happening for real. Her courage was going so down. So, in afternoon, as we are sitting around and taking, one of our teachers arranged a meeting for every student in the institute. As we gather around he started telling about the that Wacom contest that happened a while ago. My breathing literally stopped, when he told that it is a girl who won the contest. I was so scared as if I might get another panic attack. And then he announced the name of that my fellow colleague. I was so happy that I couldn't describe in words. I just glanced at her, and she gave the world's most beautiful smile and it felt like that 'winning' erased her every pain that was breaking her spirit. I couldn't describe how satisfying that was for me. She came up to me and hold my hand as other teachers were appreciating her. And that was the time when I felt a rush of energy just flowed into me, positive, powerful and divine. It felt like a blessing. Guys, you might be thinking like I am exaggerating stuff but trust me I am not. The meeting ended quickly, and we went to our class. I congratulated her and she came and hugged me, and I really felt so much better.
For, a couple of days I was also not feeling very good, my mind was in a very bad place. But today, for the first time it felt that someone just transferred their happiness to me. I felt genuinely happy after a long time. After that, we all sat together, chatted for a while. Everyone soon left after that as power supply was cut because of a broken transformer. Only I and Praveen (my another colleague) were left. My mind was exploding with questions, doubts, and things that I couldn't wrap my mind around. And for this, you know what is my solution. Pretty bleak for you but insanely terrifying for me, get my teacher's help. Sometimes, I think he is not only a teacher rather he is a doctor, psychiatrist, scientist, philosopher and what not. So, I and Praveen discussed a lot about what and how should we ask him about our stupid mundane questions so that he will not get offended or get annoyed with our behavior. Both of us are shaking with fear, but we wanted to know our answers so desperately that we just called him to our class. Holding a coffee cup and looking at us doubtfully he entered, and like a creeper, we shut the door behind him.
We both became tongue-tied about how would we ask him, I could see Praveen was just trambling. I got more anxious after watching him, as he promised he will ask the questions. But, well, that didn't happen. To save the situation from getting more awkward, I just blabbered the question that I so much wanted to ask him and that was how to get out of the well of self-pity and not feel sorry for yourself. And he just said the most enigmatic and accurate answer to that question and that was,
"Your heart wants something but your brain knows the reality, and if your heart knows reality and brain knows what you want then only you can get out of the well of self-pity."
And oh my god, for few minutes I was in a state of anaphylactic shock. I don't know if I am putting that thing in a right way. At first, I couldn't wrap my mind around it but very soon I understood that. And he gave all the answers to our unanswered questions that we wanted to know.
And all I understood that universe is very big, but not as big as my teacher's mind. Wise men say teachers are the powerhouse of knowledge, but it looked like he himself is the 'knowledge'. After a long session of discussion, we both thanked him and headed back to home. In my way home, I thanked my colleagues Praveen that without his help I couldn't ever ask him these weird questions that both of us did today. And guys, today was the happiest day of my life because who knew happiness comes in ways you can never expect. I hope I can apply all the teachings that my teacher taught me in my life and not disappoint him like I did to others.
So, that was my thought of the day. To see more posts like this make sure to visit our main page. And do not forget to visit our institute's page to know more about graphic design, 3D, animation courses and other awesome stuff. Till then good day to you.
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