The Crimson Creed - The World of Creations.

A Puff of Golden Memories By Katherine Lightwood It has been a long time that I haven't written anything, digitally or manually. I guess there's nothing to say much and nobody to hear. It's not like I write stuff in hope of getting "heard" but yeah sometimes it's nice to hear from the outside world. From my previous blogs, you might have known that I've got a job in a pretty big company so I hardly get any time to write or even think. First things first, about the experience. Well, I am learning... at a very slow pace but yes... I am learning. And the biggest thing I learned about myself is that I am very much unusual and I must not get involved with the other people. I tried hard but I couldn't connect with anybody. Everyone has a different kind of vibe, a point of view, or even random thoughts. I find myself so alone even with a roomful of people. as if I am drowning myself in the painful noises that I can never recognize. If you met me i...

Untitled Grief Part- 23 By Katherine Lightwood I was told to be ashamed of the shame that I held, Was told to lower the screams of my pain that I yelled. Was laughed at the fact that that I was frail, Don't know where my ship is heading, don't know how to sail. Was told to be ashamed of the burden of my fear, Thrown down like a baseball, my head was not so clear. Woke up in a dark alley, with my hear full of pain, Lost in the horizons of my dark thoughts, there's nothing to gain. Then again, I saw the speck of light following me through the shadow, Again expected to run into the darkness, expected a tough blow. And slowly the light grew with an into a huge ball of darkness, I waited till the end, I thought it was harmless.  But it vilified me and reflected my frightening inner demons, Thought my life was messed up and it's just giving me lemons. But how wrong was I keeping my soul on a leash, Was getting tortured from inside, felt like without w...

Mental Journal of Dark Thoughts Part-10 By Katherine Lightwood What is like to be successful...I probably would never know. From outside I am successful, I have a few so-called skills , I am blessed with good health and now a JOB . Dude...!! Dude like wow, hard to believe. But inside my mind, I am in severe pain. Constantly, battling with my inner demons. I am in agonizing pain and I have no idea how will I cope up with. People, especially my coworkers ask me why are you so quiet, why you are so different and so on. I would love them to explain but the reason is that I don't have a valid reason to show that why my face looks weird.  Sometimes I feel that I am too repulsive for this kind of behavior. I just stop functioning. Somebody told me to "LOVE MYSELF"...and  I exactly felt how JOKER from Batman would have felt when he was shown a mirror after chemicals distorted his face. I was so much in pain when I heard that sentence that I literally wanted to laugh at...

Mental Journal of Dark Thoughts Part- 9 By Katherine Lightwood Have you ever been in any situation when you get so happy that you get really really tired and started to get tipsy? Well, I know, the situation can never be relatable but just let me share some of my point of view... there's a reason that I call this blog post series "Journal of Dark Thoughts" so that I can share my stupid, non-sensical and horrible ideas here without any judgment, and not hurting anybody. So, speaking of happiness...It's not like everybody else. Oh no... I have a new job... I still don't know if it's manageable or not, I am in constant fear that is pretty obvious. But the thing is I am at this moment very happy... and no it's not because of my new Job or anything close to it. This happiness is very shortlived and I don't care. This happiness is a fuel for my creativity and my amusement. Ok...!! Let me describe this feeling to you. I've been digging for d...

Untitled Grief Part-22 By Katherine Lightwood I am confused that its dusk or dawn, Should I celebrate or be forlorn. The scarlet sky is shining  at the horizon, A grim fear within me is growling like a lion. It is Sunrise or sunset only time will tell, Doubting that it is paradise or just a living hell. The paradise is raining over me and that's what I saw, But I am cursed and need to be damned, it's by the law. My soul is praying, praying for the lost souls of paradise, My prayers are for those immortals who are not worthy of demise. So, I prayed till it got dark, I prayed until I bled through the eyes, I prayed until my anger got cold and I turned into ice. My wish turned into passion and anger into pride, Losing serenity, I have fears that I fail to hide. So now I often wish upon the stars to have mercy on me, I am doubting if there's any good side that I just couldn't see. Well, life is like a river and you can't hold on to the sunrise,...