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Showing posts from June, 2018

Stuff that exists in 4th Dimension By Katherine Lightwood

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Stuff that exists in 4th Dimension By Katherine Lightwood Guys, this is crazy…!! I have recently read an article and it says scientists have created a whole new kind of matter. And what’s that called… Time Crystals …!! These strange things have properties that we haven’t seen in other matter. Usually, a matter is motionless in resting state and only has potential energy until kinetic energy is introduced to it. For example, a ball is at rest and is full of potential energy and when it’s kicked that energy is converted into kinetic energy, the energy in motion. But ‘Time Crystals’ actually move at their resting state or the ground state and that’s when the atoms have the lowest amount of energy. They are kind of like a ball that is forever in motion. In other words, they are always unstable down to the atomic level. They are the first non- equilibrium matter ever created. Regular crystals are an arrangement of atoms in repeated three-dimensional patte

In countless Unknown Faces By Katherine Lightwood

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In countless Unknown Faces By Katherine Lightwood I was standing under the moonless night, Swallowing my pain, without hoping for the light. My unshed tears were blinding my dull eyes, And now it's the time to keep my feelings on a disguise. So, I put my mask of a false pride and valor, Demons of my fear were stealing my pallor. My hope that was left has been shattered, Dreams of my heart are now being scattered. Now, my broken dreams are poking my heart, A big distance is keeping me and my soul apart. Under my mask, I am choking and suffocating, The unheard battles are now I am battling.  My mind is an infernal forest where the wind of turmoil blow, It's the only place where wicked dreams and filthy thoughts grow. Like an endless sea and the might roars of the ocean, My thoughts growl and keep me in motion. It is on the verge of tearing me apart into pieces, I am always searching myself in countless unknown faces. So, that was

Some Mindful Talks By Katherine Lightwood

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Some Mindful Talks  By Katherine Lightwood By now we all know that life doesn’t usually turn out the way that you hope it will.  Lately, I have more and more days where I don’t feel ok. With all the news, entertainment, career and life, in general, I feel more depressed and anxious than ever. And when I usually express these feelings I met with the response,  “ I know but you just have to think positively”. “Thoughts influence your mood, so just fake it until you make it, and eventually you will believe that you are happy” and blah blah and blah…. And though positivity and resilience have its place, it feels like this sentiment is coming from a discomfort with negative emotion rather than prioritizing the process of healing or working through them. And to be honest I am just really tired of trying to mask my negative feelings. Every time I’ve run from my feelings or try to smile them away, this buzzing feeling of anxiety only worsens and I don’t like to liv

Vast as a Sea By Katherine Lightwood

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Vast as a Sea By Katherine Lightwood Just like a mellow feather is my wish, But it is so hard to keep it on a leash, So, I've sent it away in the dark, Now it is burning in my mind like a silent spark. It is turning my old soul into an igniting flame, Knowing it will vanish because every time it is the same. Should I stay, should I run away, Wish I could scream out loud, wish I could say, My broken wish that I have sailed on the ocean. I wish it would find ashore, I've sent it with complete devotion. Will the sea nurture the dream that I've dreamt? Or will I sink under the sea of endless lament? Just like a mirage is my sweet dream, Sparkling like a diamond, blinded by its beam. But just like a puff of smoke, it disappears, I am standing drenched in the pouring rain, now it seems for years. And then when again I sit under the silent shady tree, I wish I could dream that dream, that is so vast as a sea. So, that was my thought of the day. To see

Spark I’ve once seen in the ocean By Katherine Lightwood

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Spark I’ve once seen in the ocean By Katherine Lightwood  There’s a spark I’ve once seen in the ocean, It might be a falsity or my distorted emotion. Like a mellow warm flame, it ignited my heart, Now, without it, my soul couldn’t depart. A war is raging inside me, shattering my walls, Lost I’ve become while wandering through the empty halls. I am stranded alone in the empty alleyway, Sitting melancholy watching the sky go grey. Not looking at the sky, not hoping for the sun, But the sunlight still lurks at me, making my head spun. Although it’s a mirage, a complete fallacy of my mind, It still feels so real, makes me question if I am going blind. So, got stuck in a maze, got bruised and bled, Cried tears of blood as I prayed and plead. Old wounds turned fresh and paralyzed my soul, Burning pain is all I am feeling, that I couldn’t control Have mercy on my heart, its war on your paradise, That’s all I can bear my Lord, help me through my de

How Galaxies Die? By Katherine Lightwood

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How Galaxies Die? By Katherine Lightwood Galaxies are collections of millions and billions of stars. Our own milky way probably has 100 to 400 billion of stars.   Andromeda our close neighborhood galaxy probably has 400 billions of stars or maybe trillion. But the thing is fellas… Andromeda is dead. Probably has been for a few billion years. Just like stars, planets, you, me and our hopes and dreams- galaxies can also die or ‘quench’ as astronomers call it.   In fact half of the galaxies in the universe are dead. Gases like hydrogen are used by galaxies to make new stars. And as the gases fuse, the hydrogen is fused into helium and then helium into, more elements like carbon and oxygen and iron and so on. As long as stars are being created, a galaxy is deemed alive. But when galaxies stop making new stars … they are considered ‘dead’. Scientists have found out that the way a galaxy can die is called ‘galaxy strangulation’ .  I mean that’s what they call i

Inside the Mind of an Overthinker By Katherine Lightwood

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Inside the Mind of an Overthinker By Katherine Lightwood You know what I HATE ? Well!! Now, EVERYTHING will be a perfect answer...But let's get out of this negative zone and get into some cool and CALM place, even though it's physically impossible right now. So, my today's topic is OVERTHINKING , which is my field of expertise. It probably comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me, but I overthink EVERYTHING . Anything, really and sometimes I can't help it because engaging in self- reflection and expressing my feelings through writing is kind of what I am good at. I mean what I am doing right now. But I know there's a very very healthy line between insightful introspection and just overthinking like HELL , and trust me guys it's negative effects are really bad. I mean seriously, the studies have shown rumination leads to depression, anxiety, inability to sleep and self-harm. I have had every single symptom of the danger of dwelling and

Test of My Patience By Katherine Lightwood

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Test of My Patience By Katherine Lightwood Staring behind me, I see the big trail of regret that I’ve left, My shoulders were slouching beneath its heavy weight of debt. I’ve become a mark of pessimism, a disguise of my own demon, Even though I’ve hated it, but that’s what I have to summon. So that it could break me and tear me apart, in the time of gaiety, Hoping that I don't expect, I am staying away from all these felicity. It’s not right, it’s just wrong; I am tired of hearing this poisonous song, Can I let out a peaceful sigh that I was holding inside for so long? Tired of pretending, tired of showing a fake laugh assuring everything’s ok, I’ve lost the meaning of being fine now, don’t know what else I’ve to say. Ran out of possibilities, now I am stuck in between a narrow lane, It’s narrower than a strand of hair, and it’s making me insane. Let me live in my dream, said my wounded soul, My heart drenched in fear and pain, like its being

My Understanding of how Universe will end? By Katherine Lightwood

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My Understanding of how Universe will end? By Katherine Lightwood We have a pretty good idea that how and when our universe began. As for how it’s going to end, there are quite a lot of theories…!! Well, Fellas!! As I am very sad without any specific reasons so that’s why I am here to talk about some pretty grim stuff and what could be grimmer than the end of the universe itself.  So, no universe, no misery, I mean just kidding… Of course, but let’s take out my negative energy out in a constructive way. When Edwin Hubble looked at the night sky in 1923, he discovered that the universe is much bigger than our milky way. There were actually metric oodles of galaxies all over the place. Then again in 1929, because he wasn’t done being a science boss, Hubble also noticed that the majority of galaxies are speeding away from us. So, logically then, if go back on the time, everything must have been smashed together in a singularity at one point. And with all that pheno

Crack in the Beautiful Glass Fortress By Katherine Lightwood

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Crack in the Beautiful Glass Fortress By Katherine Lightwood They say its dream inside a dream, And the whisper turned into a scream. My eyes are open now, senses all numb, Sometimes it elevates making me succumb. My fragile legs are carrying my heavy soul, Walking over frosty plains and burning coal. My chariot of victory is shattering from inside, Tonight in my dreams I again kind off died. My unholy thoughts have infuriated my pain, Without it, there is all loss and there’s nothing I could gain. Why I consider my sins as my salvation? I don’t want it to guide my path or be a cruel dictation.    I am thirsty, surrounded by the mirage of water, Bizarre that I’ve become, and an abominable daughter. What a shameful posterity with just a repelling pride, Demons of my false valor are now becoming my guide. I was born to be a mark of perfection and be faultless, Now, I have just become a crack in the beautiful glass fortress. So, that w

Untitled Grief: Part 2 By Katherine Lightwood

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Untitled Grief: Part 2 By Katherine Lightwood My hands are tied with the empty grief I have in my heart, Tolerable it is but it is stabbing my soul couldn’t let it depart. I am scared beyond my limits, fearing tomorrow will be a misery, I am ashamed of what I have now that once I called it my victory. Now, all of it has vanished like a puff of smoke in this cold air, Once I thought I owned my life, but now nothing seems so fair. I am getting trapped on the continuous pattern of my own stupidity, Disgusted by my own mistakes, I’ve become another name for morbidity. I know, I know I am covering myself into a cozy blanket of self-loathe, But somehow I am feeling the shame of my sins getting unclothed. Searching desperately for a mask, to hide and stay, Forgetting damages I’ve done, now shying away from the price I have to pay. I am painting over and over above the canvas, to hide the black stain of my mind, What a wishful thinking it is, as I am

What we exactly mean by" Intelligent Species" on Other Planets By Katherine Lightwood

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What we exactly mean by" Intelligent Species" on Other Planets By Katherine Lightwood I always have a fascination with the world outside this planet. I was always curious about what was up in the sky beyond the solar system. In the stars, inside the black hole. How do white dwarf and red giant stars look like with naked eyes? I was never satiated with mindless pictures that are used all over the globe which is generally described as "artists' Impression" of Space. I mean what the hell!! Where is the real stuff? Anyways, as I grew up I started reading more and more about the outer space and came to know about the possibilities of life forms on other planets. I made me wonder that scientists are searching for 'intelligent life forms' . But what if a planet doesn't have one and it might be full of creatures like dinosaurs? So, here's my question for today. If you would rank, plants, animals, and whales based on their intelligence, who w

Scarlet Twilight By Katherine Lightwood

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Scarlet Twilight By Katherine Lightwood A dream I wish to dream, is out beyond my reach, Away from the mountains, the sea, and that golden sunny beach. A dream where the morning sun strikes through the golden daffodils, That makes my heart pounding with joy as I get those chills. I am afraid to even blink as I am captivated by its beauty, What a blessing bestowed upon me, singing its hymn has become my duty. I was alone far in that field, and there was no wrong and right, Dumbfound I was standing there, admiring that beautiful sight. My happiness has become twilight now, short-lived in the day, Just like the morning sun it was, for which I always have to pray. I sat on a rock gazing far across that scarlet twilight sky, Flabbergasted by its allure, I couldn’t help but sigh. My heart drenched in pain as the scarlet rays turned golden, I fight hard through my pain but I was suddenly beholden. I was happy and I was sad, that the heaven bestowed me

What 'Touching' is in Quantum level? By Katherine Lightwood

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What 'Touching' is in Quantum level?  By Katherine Lightwood Today, my mind fires a strange question 'Can we really touch anyone'? And like always I will use quantum mechanics 'subtext'. Well, let's say we have two electrons. I imagine what we mean by touching is that they come in and they actually physically touch. Now, one of the problems is that an electron has a 'Zero Size'. And as far as I can tell no volume. So, how do electrons actually interact with each other? After searching for some articles and experiments on the internet, I gathered some knowledge. They interact by exchanging a particle. In case of the electron, it's a 'photon' that they exchange. So, as they come in,, a photon is passed from one to the other which changes the momentum of both of them and pushes them off. so, they never really have to touch in order to interact with each other, to exchange that particle and therefore change the momentum and direct

Locked in the cage of my mind By Katherine Lightwood

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Locked in the cage of my mind By Katherine Lightwood What an uncanny pain my heart has hidden, Like I have stepped foot on a land that is forbidden. When I was out searching for a ray of light, I stumbled upon this land, so glorious and bright. Captivated I got, fall for its strange temptation, Mind got paralyzed, couldn’t understand that confusion. My world got all colorful and colorless at that same time, So, I am sitting here, trying to compose this grim rhyme. The world surrounds me is gripped in the fire of havoc and chaos, And I am hoping to knock on the heavens door in between the riots. To get the last glimpse of the morning sun shining brightly in the eastern sky, Where I just want to go but fear that I will be burned and couldn’t even fly. So, I left the golden chariot, left all the desires and hopes, I’ve closed my heart forever from now and lost all other scopes. But it looks like the melancholy has much power over my choices,

Wormhole: The Natural Time Machine By Katherine Lightwood

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Wormhole: The Natural Time Machine By Katherine Lightwood   What happens when you have two black holes, quantum particles and a hell lot of gravity, all in one place? Its traversable wormhole aka the natural time machines. So, you might all be familiar with how a wormhole works. Let’s take a piece of paper and draw two circles on it. And let’s suppose these circles represent two planets in space that you want to travel between really quickly. If you fold the space in half ( here space represents our paper ), you can get the two points or planets to connect.  This is the idea behind how a wormhole works and possibly time travel. But that’s not easy my friends, it’s quite difficult to do in reality. So, for that to exist we need huge warping of space and time, which is really hard for us to do. But for black holes… it’s easy peasy!! With Einstein’s theory came, the idea that if there are two black holes, they could be could be connected through as wormholes als

Unseen demons of my mind By Katherine Lightwood

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Unseen demons of my mind By Katherine Lightwood Ever heard a really good joke over polio? Or made a casual reference to someone having kidney disease? Or maybe teased your buddy by saying he has muscular dystrophy?  Of course, you have never done that because you are not a terrible person. You will never make fun of someone having a physical illness. But folks make all kinds of off hands remarks about people having mental illness and never give it a second thought. How often have you heard a person say that someone is ‘psycho’ or 'schizo’ or ‘bipolar’ ? I can pretty much guarantee that the people who used those terms have no idea what they actually meant? Physiological disorders and the people who have them have often been stigmatized. But at the same time, we tend to minimize those disorders using them as nicknames for things that people do think or say that may not exactly be universal, but are still basically healthy. And we all do it, but only because we don

Light of the Morning Star By Katherine Lightwood

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Light of the Morning Star By Katherine Lightwood I broke all the commands, in that valley of Nile, Although it’s mirage of words, with this I am still fine. Melancholy was I, when it all started with just a simple lie, Sinstress they called me when I showed them my true colors with a sigh. Like a twisted knot, I was, got strangled by my own foolish desire, So, I threw myself away, thinking I am done as my wishes expire. The road is not over yet oh lunatic wanderer, said my soul, Can’t plan your demise so soon, as the game will soon be foul. But the roads I’ve been choosing, the chances I am taking so far, It’s killing me from inside but sometimes makes me alive, digging up my scar. I am thriving, I am failing, I am tearing myself apart, Couldn’t gaze anything with my eyes open, fearing if my desires will depart. I am stuck but I am blessed, I can’t stay stuck forever or less, But why oh why, I lose grip from my certainty, is it right to guess?

An Introverts Brain is quite different By Katherine Lightwood

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An Introverts Brain is quite different By Katherine Lightwood My digital marketing internship is over. But my heart is still on that ‘magic classroom’ . Whenever I feel a bit disturbed or down I simply go there, sit in the empty room and stare at the white wall for some amount of time.  And this is my most amazing experience of the day. I let my feeling take over me, drown me in the ocean of its own and let it affect my heart. I allow my feelings and thoughts to take full control over me. I allow my heart to beat million times faster and then go numb like a dead person. I let my fear take over me and make me suffocate until I choke and start coughing profusely. I let my anger emerge and take a shape of the evilest demon in the hell. And all these turmoil I am talking about, I actually like it.  This is me, a crazy me or says whatever. And I am an introvert; well!! That’s what my teacher says. But I can barely distinguish if I am insane or actually an introvert.    

Nameless Poem of mine By Katherine Lightwood

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Nameless Poem of mine By Katherine Lightwood In this gloomy night, underneath the moonlit sky, I was standing there, pretending I could fly. My melancholy spirit wandered that night, But I kept standing there, watching that sight. My mind got all numb as the coldness crept into my dream, Seems like my sins were exceeding, filled to the brim. With a heavy heart, I packed up my expectations, Couldn’t decide what would be its repercussions. I tried not to look back, at the door of the crystal city, And didn’t wanted to drown me in the ocean of self-pity. But I was a wanderer tied by the strong chains of greed, That’s why I was shunned from heaven and just couldn’t succeed. So, I better became a wanderer, and searched for my forgotten dreams, I am better a lone wolf now; it’s obscure for me to be on those teams. But I still get scared and pour out my desperation within those unshed tears. I still let loose the demons in my mind, underneath the go

"Hacking" is way different then you think it is By Katherine Lightwood

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"Hacking" is way different then you think it is By Katherine Lightwood  In movies, hacking is all finesse, excitement, and genius coding but in reality, it's boring, time taking and ancient. Passwords are like apples in a fictional garden. they are perfect, ripe and they are for taking if you know how.  So, for non-nerds, let me tell you passwords are not stored in form of words but as a set of encrypted characters called hashes. And if I want to access any person's account I don't really need their passwords. I just have to find the thing that lets me decrypt that hash.  And to do that, hackers sometimes use 'lookup tables' and 'rainbow tables'- data files of common passwords that are pre-hashed. And if hackers have this beforehand and have millions of common passwords, they can just compare them and can access to your account.  And hackers can do this comparison really fast. But big companies have a weapon against those '

Toxic Shame is so dangerous By Katherine Lightwood

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Toxic Shame is so dangerous By Katherine Lightwood Today I want to talk about toxic shame, a very common problem of mine which is literally eating my life. Now, layman people who have no idea what the hell it is, allow me to explain it. Now, we all know shame, it’s sometimes is good and is quite an essential part of constructive criticism.  But there is another kind of shame which is actually quite rare. I’ve looked on the internet and the definition of shame is written as “a painful feeling caused by consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior”. So, regular shame is a feeling. Imagine a little girl who sees some cookie in a hidden jar and decides to eat from there. Then her mom catches her, she finds out about it and the little girl feels ‘Shame’.  In that situation shame is just a feeling. The little girl is going to feel the shame for few minutes or maybe an hour or two. And hopefully, because of the shame, she will not do the action again. Normal shame is abo

The awesomeness of U2F Security Key By Katherine Lightwood

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The awesomeness of U2F Security Key By Katherine Lightwood Recently my dear friend Praveen and I were discussing the recent Google IO event that happened in California, and how we would be so lucky if we could go there. But like always that was just a wishful thinking. He was showing me various new features and updates that Google has done over the years to improve itself. I was intently listening to him but in the back of my mind, I was wondering if Google has done an update on its security. The answer would be ‘hell yeah’ but I was not aware of any. The recent event of Facebook losing its data really shook both of us. Even though we were not the direct victim of this thing but it was a big flaw in the world of technology and advancement, so our mood was a bit gloomy. Then suddenly, Praveen remembered something and violently pulled my hand to grab my attention towards him. As I was literally immersing myself in my phone, not giving a damn about what was happening in